Types of Shakespeeps

Comedy people: hopeless romantics but also really into dick jokes; unfazed by the wildest coincidence but confused about their gender, their whole identity, or both

History people: either Team York or Team Lancaster and will fight you over it; on a first-name basis with several dead monarchs; on a weird personal crusade to exonerate their problematic fave and won’t shut up about it

Tragedy people: love to suffer and plan to take everyone else down with them; ready to die for the ‘aesthetic’; not-so-secretly into BDSM

Romance people: consider themselves exempt from the forces of time, geography, probably gravity; high like 90% of the time; career prospects include pirate, statue, bear

‘Problem play’ people: too serious for the comedies, too squeamish for the tragedies; have a really strong opinion about the end of Measure for Measure and will tell you about it whether you want to hear it or not; DISCOURSE FOR DAYS

Apocrypha people: Shakespeare hipsters


Jonson people: don’t actually like Jonson but Shakesepare is too mainstream

I’m a history person and this is embarrassingly accurate.

This came around my dash again and I’d forgotten about it

Kyd, Tourneur and Beaumont & Fletcher people: think that Jonson people aren’t posing hard enough.

Also, Team York, though I couldn’t be arsed fighting about it. They did, and look where it got them. 

I’m a comedy people, and barring the dick jokes, I’m into it.

Also, Team Lancaster (it’s required – I was born in Southport)

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